Posted On: 2005-09-27
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Ladies and gentlemen we're back once again with the business reality show. To my left I have my main man, Lee, the strong man.
Over here we've got Dr. Andy.
And now I'm going to turn it over to your host, and my papa, the main man with a plan. Mr. Paul Sanneman.
There we go. I've got to turn the microphone on to make this thing work.
I hate when that happens.
I hate when that happens.
That's what she said.
Are we starting again?
Do you want to start again?
Oh hell, we'll just go on.
We don't have to start again. Let's just keep going.
I just had the microphone off because I was saying things I didn't want anybody to hear about my past sexual exploits, so I turned the microphone off so you couldn't record it.
And of course nobody believes that.
That's right. It's a true story.
That's gross, anyway.
It's true, it's true.
We'd lose all 14 of our listeners.
All 14 of our fans, that's right.
They're not even fans, They're listeners. I don't think we've quite won them over yet.
We've certainly disappointed them.
That's right. That's right. Ok. So. I'm going to tell a couple consulting stories here. I have been in consulting for God knows how long. Actually 20 some years. There's a couple consulting jokes that I find very useful to illustrate points. So, first joke. And I don't know how timely this is, but one of the things that people talk about is, "nobody every talked to me, nobody ever helped me, nobody ever tried." So I'm telling this client, I'm going, "look at all you need to do is sell, sell, sell. Or all you need to do is fire your secretary. Or all you need to do is hire this guy, or whatever." And they're going, "yeah but this, and yeah but that." And Jason, my son consults with me. Remember,
We are a team.
Let's talk about the Big K guy today.
Was he listening?
I know the K guy.
Is he listening?
The K guy? He only listens about 65 percent of the time.
Right, and he always going, "nobody ever tells me," so
He's the yeah but, king.
The yeah but king. Yeah, but.
Not the bud king.
The yeah but king. Right. So I tell him this story. I said, you know there's this guy, and he was in a flood. God knows floods are relevant nowadays. And,
That's in bad taste.
Thank you. Thank you. Anyhow. So he was in, so what happened was, the water started coming up and obviously it was raining really hard, hard, hard, raining really hard, (thank you for the rain sound effects), raining like hell, and you know the river's coming up and it's raining like hell. And, so pretty soon, he's a little worried, but this man is a very spiritual man.
A good and pious man by
A good and pious man.
By anyone's judgment.
So he starts reading his Bible. And he starts going "Lord, save me, Lord save me." And I mean, this guy followed the 10 Commandments, he did everything according to the book, he was like a good, pious man, he had never sinned very much in his life, and so he said "God will save me, God will save me, God will save me." So, you know the river's coming up and the river's coming up and now, like, you know like the middle of the street, the street's full of water. And so a rowboat comes by and he goes "get in, get in, the river's coming up, the rain's coming down, you're going to drown, you're going to drown"...